Posted by Cristalia on Aug 29, 2008 in
Fun Stuff I played cards with my cousin’s son and told him stories about America. He keeps calling me aunt… makes me feel so old, so I told him to just call me by name, but he isn’t used to it. (I know, I know, I don’t like being called either old or young. I’m picky!) He asked me if I had any kids his age, I told him that by the time I have a kid his age, he’d probably be in college and uninterested in playing with kids anymore. My kid would also speak terrible Chinese!
I’m really getting tired of people asking me to teach them English. They ask me how to say so many words, then just forget later after I tell them. What’s the point other than wasting my time? Leave me alone unless you’re serious about learning and will actually remember what I say!
Posted by Cristalia on Aug 25, 2008 in
Anecdotes When I am mad at somebody, sometimes I retreat to silence. But what I really want is for that person to talk to me. I really hate it when they respond to my silence with silence. It makes me so angry and hurt. I realize this is hypocritical, and I am trying to do away with the whole silent treatment crap, but it’s hard because the words that come out of my mouth can hurt too if I don’t watch it. I don’t think I am an insensitive person. In fact I can only consider myself an overly sensitive person, or I wouldn’t be hurt enough so easily to say the stuff I do in the first place. Anything I say when I am not thinking is what I believe to be the truth at the time, after all.
Anyway, self reflection aside…
My cousin’s kid is so cute. He’s 5 and virtually a genius!
Posted by Cristalia on Aug 21, 2008 in
Anecdotes I had an epiphany while I was at the hospital. I haven’t written much in weeks. I had forgotten how much writing helps me relax. How can I be too busy to write? Another thing I’m feeling guilty about. I’m feeling much better now after writing all this. I was given some medication for lowering my blood pressure, too. They said there may be other medical reasons for my sudden high blood pressure and I should check back in a few days. Maybe falling down the stairs had something to do with it. It was a frightening experience and my shoulder still hurts. It’s a weird, dull pain. I don’t want to bug my mom with more problems now though. She got no sleep last night. I’m going to run laps outside until I can’t run anymore. Exercise is stress relief too.
Hopefully the rest of the week will be better.
Posted by Cristalia on Aug 17, 2008 in
Bad Karma Next thing I know I wake up in a hospital bed this morning, hooked up to some IV. I don’t really know what happened between this morning and when I punched the kid on the street last night. I remember feeling faint, I guess. Right now I just want to kill somebody, maybe that kid. I was told that my blood pressure was really high when I was first taken in, which is really bad since I usually have low blood pressure. But they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. They think it’s stress, so they referred me to a mental clinic.
The doctor there helped me figure out why I was so stressed out and why I can’t manage it as well as I usually do. I’m always under mountains of stress but normally I can deal with it and even thrive on it.
Posted by Cristalia on Aug 16, 2008 in
Danger! On the way, my mom went to a store to buy some toothpaste, so I waited outside just pacing back and forth in frustration.
Suddenly, this kid, maybe 14 or 15, comes up to me and starts hitting on me.
I don’t know what happened next. Actually I do know but I didn’t realize what I did until I did it. I punched the kid in the face so hard that he got a nosebleed. He of course starts spouting nasty comments, but I felt so much better immediately.
I rarely, rarely ever take my anger out on other people, and ten seconds later I already felt guilty. My mom comes out and starts yelling and apologizing to the kid. I did, too, but I’m not sure I meant it. I was guilty of the fact that I took my anger out on another person, but I wasn’t guilty about punching the kid. I told him to hit on people his own age, and the look on his face told me he thought I was, so I was even more pissed.
Posted by Cristalia on Aug 12, 2008 in
Rants Well, when I get there , I wanted to talk to her but all I got was a greeting and a hug. Then she went to spend time with her kid. She then proceeds to ignore me the rest of the night. What the? She also won’t be back tomorrow either. This is just great. There is nothing, and I mean nothing I hate more than being ignored by somebody I care about. I’m sure the kid is important. Heck I brought him a gift I spent an hour in line to get at the Bird’s Nest. But how often does she see the kid compared to me?
I’m jealous of a kid, so sue me. Whatever.
I need stress relief really, really bad now. I was about to blow. I told my mom this and we decided to go to the hotel early so I can sleep it away.
Posted by Cristalia on Aug 9, 2008 in
Danger! Before we realized it, we got rear ended by the car behind us, probably because our driver was going so damn slow, and because both of those dumb drivers were looking at the truck instead of the road. But the kicker is this - they decided to take care of the accident literally right next to the fucking burning truck. How stupid is that?
My family and I were all extremely angry at this point at the driver. All I have to say about this incident is that I’m glad I’m still alive now.
Three hours later we finally arrived at my grandmother’s house. It was around dinner time now and I forced myself to put away my anger for a while. My grandma has Alzheimer’s and didn’t remember who I was. That’s ok. I was mostly looking forward to seeing my third oldest and favorite cousin. I spent the most time with her. She’s six years older than me and was truly like a sister to me.
Posted by Cristalia on Aug 3, 2008 in
Rants The drive was insanely frustrating and lengthy. Think of it as watching a hundred cliff hangers for a really good TV series. I don’t think we were going faster than 30 miles per hour at any point in time, and the sun was in my face as usual (do I see a pattern here?). But worst of all, the driver smoked the whole time and had his window open. Let me tell you, it did not smell or sound pretty outside. I hate secondhand smoking so very much. At this point I’m already annoyed and pissed. PMS probably doesn’t help my case.
Anyway, I was still able to keep my cool then. I listened to my iPod and enjoyed the scenery outside to pass time. And then it happened…
Ahead of us, on the other side of the road, was a burning oil truck. There was a grassy median in the road, so it was no big deal. It didn’t burn as badly as the 18 wheeler we saw when we drove from Gainesville to Houston a month ago or so.
The driver apparently thought otherwise, because he slowed down to check out the truck, when obviously the smart thing to do was to drive faster and out of range in case the truck exploded. But nooooo…